Napkin Etiquette

At informal meals, place the napkin in your lap immediately upon seating. During formal occasions, before unfolding the napkin, wait for the hostess to remove her napkin from the table and unfold it in her lap.

1. Place the napkin in your lap upon seating.
2. When leaving the table temporarily, put the napkin on your chair.
3. At the meal’s end, fold your napkin and place it to the left of your place setting.

Handling Utensils

How do you hold a fork?

The continental style prevails at all meals, formal and informal, because it is a natural, non-disruptive way to eat.

In most situations, following the inside in rule will tell you which knife, fork, or spoon to use at the dinner table.

• Use utensils on the outside first and work your way inward with each new course that is served.

Continental Style- Hold your fork in your left hand, tines downward.

Knife Continental Style- Hold your knife in your right hand, an inch or two above the plate. Extend your index finger along the top of the blade. Use your fork to spear and lift food to your mouth.

• Hold your fork in your left hand, tines downward.
• Hold your knife in your right hand, an inch or two above the plate.
• Extend your index finger along the top of the blade.
• Use your fork to spear and lift food to your mouth.

                                            The Table Setting

Deciding which knife, fork, or spoon to use is made easier by the outside-in rule – use utensils on the outside first and working your way inward. So, if you are served a salad first, use the fork set to the far left of your plate.

General Table Setting Guidelines

The lower edges of the utensils should be aligned with the bottom rim of the plate, about one (1) inch up from the edge of the table.

To avoid hiding a utensil under the rim of a plate or bowl, lay it approximately one (1) inch away from the plate’s side.

To eliminate fingerprints on the handle, hold flatware by the “waist,” the area between the handle and the eating end of the utensil.

Elbow room requires a minimum of 15 inches between place settings, or approximately 24 inches from the center of one place setting to the middle of the next.

Butter should be waiting on butter plates, the glasses filled with water, and the wine ready to be served before the guests are seated.

The water glass should be placed approximately one (1) inch from the tip of the dinner knife.

Place knives with blades facing the plate.

Do not place over three pieces of flatware on either side of the plate at one time (except forks if an oyster fork is used).

When an uneven number of people are seated, the odd-numbered place settings are laid opposite the middle of the even-numbered place settings.

The Plan

Try to plan the table setting to match your menu. When bread and butter are served, add a butter plate to the table. Use separate salad plates if serving your main course with gravy.

Depending upon the occasion, you may want to use a “formal” or an “informal” table setting. Most of us will infrequently use a formal setting.

Tablecloths and Placemats

Although a formal dinner requires a tablecloth, at informal dinners a tablecloth is optional. A bare table with place mats is the alternative.

Dinnerware, Flatware, Glassware

If you don’t have enough good china and flatware to create place settings for your guests, you have three alternatives.

1. The first is to visit your local party supply store. Most have an extensive collection of formal tableware for rent.
2. The second is to create a second table setting at a smaller table with your everyday dinnerware or use borrowed dishes and place settings.
3. The third choice, for casual dinners, is to mix and match.

Centre pieces and candles

Flowers or Bowls of fruit work well as a centerpiece. Make sure the centerpiece doesn’t stand so tall that guests can’t see over it.

Candles, if meant to be merely ornamental, are placed on either side of the centerpiece. Or, place one candle above each place setting if they will be used as the only source of light.

The Informal Table Setting

At an informal meal, all flatware is laid on the table at one time. At the host’s option the dessert utensils may be brought to the table on the dessert plate.

The following is a standard table setting for a three-course meal. Note the basic “outside-in” rule. The piece of flatware that will be used last is placed directly next to the plate you are using.

Forks

Both forks are placed on the left of the plate. The fork furthest from the plate is for salad. The fork next to the plate is for the dinner. (Please Note: At more formal where the salad is served after the main course, the order of placement is reversed.)

Fork tines may be placed downward, in the continental style, or upward, in the American style.

Dinner Plate

The dinner plate is placed on the table when the main course is served and is not on the table when the guests sit down.

Salad Plate

The salad plate is placed to the left of the forks.

Small plates, such as the salad plate, fish plate, and dessert plate , are laid about two (2) inches in from the edge of the table.

Dinner Knife

The dinner knife is placed on the right side, and directly next to and one (1) inch away from, the plate. The blade should face the plate. If the main course requires a steak knife, it may be substituted for the dinner knife.

Spoons

The soup spoon is on the far right of the outside knife.

Bread Plate with Butter Knife

A small bread plate is placed above the forks, above and to the left of the service plate.

The butter spreader is laid on the bread-and-butter plate.

Glassware

Usually, one wine glass is used along with a water goblet. If the table setting is uncrowded, there is room to arrange glassware in any way you like, such as in a straight line parallel with the edge of the table or a diagonal line angled toward the table’s edge.

Water Goblets

The water glass is placed in a position closest to the hand, approximately 1 inch above the tip of the dinner knife.

Wine Glasses

At least one wine glass should sit to the right and possibly above the water glass.

Napkins

Place the napkin in the place setting’s center, or left of the last fork.

Coffee Cups

Place a cup and saucer to the right of the place setting. The coffee spoon goes to the right of the saucer.

Place approximately one (1) inch beyond the outermost piece of flatware. The top edge of the saucer is aligned with the top rim of the plate or bowl.

Cup handles are faced in the four o’clock position for easy access.

Dessert Spoon and Fork

At an informal meal, when two utensils are provided for dessert, the utensils are laid on the table or presented on the dessert plate.

The dessert spoon (or dessert knife) is laid on the table above the dinner plate in a horizontal position, handle facing right.

The dessert fork is laid beneath the dessert spoon (or dessert knife), handle facing left.

The dessert utensils may also be presented on the dessert plate in the same way as formal service.

Salt and Pepper

Since more people use salt than pepper (and most people are right-handed), the saltshaker is placed to the right of the pepper shaker, in a position closer to the right hand.

The placement of the pepper shaker is to the left of the saltshaker, and for added definition it is angled slightly above the saltshaker.

They are placed above the cover or between two place settings.

Because salt is finer than pepper, the lid of the saltshaker is punctured with smaller, more numerous holes than a pepper shaker.

Table Setting

The Formal Table Setting

To avoid clutter, the general rule for a any table setting is to include no more than three utensils on either side of the dinner plate at a time. The exception is the oyster (or seafood) fork, which may be placed to the right of the last spoon even when it is the fourth utensil to the right of the plate. The initial table setting for a typical formal dinner should look something like this:

Service Plate: Place the service plate in the center of the place setting.

Butter Plate: A small bread plate is placed above the forks, above and to the left of the service plate.

Glasses

1. Water Glass: The water goblet is placed above each guest’s dinner knife. The other glasses are then arranged around the water glass as follows:
2. Champagne Glass A champagne flute may be located between the water glass and the wine glasses.
3. Red wine: Red wine glasses have a wider globe and may be cupped in the palm of your hand if you choose.
4. White Wine Glass: The glass with the longer stem and cylindrical globe is the white wine glass.  White wine glasses should only be held by the stem.
5. Sherry Glass: A small sherry glass may also be present to the right of the wine glasses.  This may signal that sherry will be served with the soup course.

Forks

1. Salad Fork: Directly to the plate’s left. One (1) inch from the plate.
2. Dinner Fork: Left of the salad fork.
3. Fish Fork: On the dinner fork’s left.

Knives

1. Dinner Knife: (Or meat knife if meat will be served.) Directly to the right of the plate. One (1) inch from the plate.
2. Fish Knife: On the dinner knife’s right.
3. Butter Knife: On the butter plate, diagonally with the handle toward the guest.

Spoons

1. Soup spoon and/or Fruit Spoon: Right of the knives.

Oyster Fork: If present, on the right of the soup (or fruit) spoon.

1. Also known as the seafood fork.
2. The only fork placed on the right side of the place setting.
3. The fork tines are placed in the bowl of the soup spoon with the handle at a 45-degree angle.
4. It may also be laid next to the soup spoon in a parallel position.

Dessert Spoons And Forks

1. A dessert fork and/or spoon may be placed horizontally above the dinner plate.
2. These utensils may also be provided when dessert is served.

Salt and Pepper.

1. Salt Shaker. The saltshaker is placed to the right of the pepper shaker.
2. Pepper Shaker. The pepper shaker is to the left of the saltshaker, and is angled slightly above the salt shaker.
3. Salt and Pepper Shakers. They are placed above the cover or between two place settings.
4. Salt Cellars. At formal affairs, salt is always applied from a salt cellar, a method that provides controlled use of salt. A small spoon is presented in the salt cellar and used to sprinkle salt over food.

Finger Bowls.

1. Finger bowls may be placed on the table at the end of the meal.

                                          Dinner Party Etiquette

Essentials

1. A well-planned menu.
2. A table with ironed Linen, polished silver, and sparkling glassware.
3. Well prepared food.
4. A welcoming host .

Plan Ahead

Serve something you’ve served before. Have a simple to prepare fallback if something goes wrong with a dish or course.

INFORMAL DINNER PARTY

The Menu

• Plan a well-balanced meal.
• Don’t serve heavy, sweet, or spicy dishes back-to-back.
• Balance rich dishes with a simple one.

Consider the season.

Light foods, such as main-course salads and cold soups, are good choices in the summer.

Heavy foods, such as stews and roasts, in winter.

Make use of the season in another way by creating a menu using fresh seasonal foods.

• in autumn, butternut and acorn squash.
• in winter, Brussels sprouts;
• in spring, soft­shell crabs and asparagus;
• in summer fresh vegetables.

Consider the limitations of your kitchen.

One oven. If you have only one oven and plan to cook a roast, don’t also plan dishes that must be cooked in the oven at the same time but under different temperatures. Instead, prepare a salad, saute squash, steam vegetables, or mash potatoes on the stove.

Limited space. Prepare dishes ahead of time and carefully plan your cooking times.

Before Dinner Drinks

When pre-dinner drinks or cocktails are served,

• dinner should be planned for at least an hour later than the time noted on the invitation.
• 20 minutes later if drinks are not served, which allows late arrivals a moment of relaxation.

Two or three varieties of cocktails should be offered:

1. wine
2. liquor; and
3. soda, juices, and sparkling water

Guests should be given enough time to have a couple cocktails.

You may serve light snacks or hors d”oeuvres with drinks. They should have compatible flavors with the food to be served at dinner.

Late Guests

Delay dinner fifteen (15) minutes for a late guest. When the guest arrives, he or she is served the course that is being served at the time.

SERVING DINNNER

When dinner is ready to be served :

1. Have the table prepared. The candles should be lit and water glasses filled.
2. If possible have the first course on the plates before guests arrive at the table (but not if it is a hot dish).
3. For a small group announce: “Dinner is ready; shall we go in?”.
4. For large groups, ask a few friends to help guide the guests to the dining room.
5. Lead the way to dinner.

order of service

The guest of honor seated on the host’s right is always served each dish first. If there is serving help, servers move around the table counter-clockwise from her, serving the host last.

• When food is served directly from the kitchen, service is also counter­clockwise from the host’s right, with the host served last.
• Plates are served from the guests’ left side and removed, if possible, from the right.

Each dish is supplied with whatever silver is needed for serving it. A serving spoon and a large fork are put on most dishes, or the spoon alone is used if the dish is not hard to serve. With the spoon underneath, the fork is held with the prongs turned down to hold and balance the portion when both utensils are used.

At a more casual dinner party,

• let guests serve themselves or
• at least pass the potato and vegetable dishes around the table instead.
• If the salad has not been served on individual salad plates, then it can be served from a large salad bowl passed from guest to guest, with each guest in turn holding it for the person on his right.

Since any of these procedures can take time, the host or hostess should insist that guests start eating after three or four people have been served.

Except at formal dinners, bread and other condiments are usually passed around the table by the guests themselves.

Dishes are passed counter-clockwise to the right and should be passed in the same direction.

A guest helps himself to the breadbasket with his fingers and lays the roll or bread on his butter plate.

If there is a choice of two or three sauces or other condiments, placing them together in a divided dish, or on a small, easily managed tray, ensures that they are passed together.

Second Helpings

If you have a sideboard or serving table, use it as a halfway station between the dinner table and the kitchen. On it you can have plates for the next course and extra flatware.

Serving dishes, after being passed, can be left on the serving table on a warming tray or taken to the kitchen and kept warm on the stove.

When you see that guests are ready for another portion, get up, get the serving bowl and pass it around.

Dessert may be served already placed on individual dessert plates, or the hostess may serve it at the table.

Clearing the Tables

When the table is cleared, dishes are removed two at a time, never stacked. Salt-and-pepper containers and condiment dishes are cleared also.

Salad plates as well as the plates used for the entree are removed before dessert is served.

To accelerate the clearing process, bring back dessert plates, or whatever is needed for the next course, when you return from the kitchen. Or have a friend serve the dessert while you finish clearing.

Any salt-and-pepper shakers, unused flat silver, and dishes of nuts are taken off (on a serving tray, if you like).

To guests who offer to help you clear, just say, “No, thank you, really it is easier to do it myself”-or you may find that everyone is suddenly on his or her feet and in the kitchen. It’s better to designate a serving and cleaning buddy in advance to help.

After Dinner Coffee

After-dinner coffee may be served either at the dining table or in another room to which the diners have moved.

The hostess pours the coffee right at the dining-room table or from a tray that has been carried to the living room or den.

After Dinner Drinks

If coffee is served at the table, bottles of after-dinner drinks may also be placed on the table.

If coffee is served in the living room, a tray containing bottles and glasses is placed on the coffee table.